So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
