Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
