I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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