He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
