she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
