Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
