Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
you never un-have a 4some
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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