i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
