i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Randomize
