Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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