I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
