Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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