dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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