You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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