I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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