pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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