Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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