i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
