i would punch a child for taco bell
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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