Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
