I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
