so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
