hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
