sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
