come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
