Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i was born a porn star she said
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
