Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize