he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
