i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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