At least make sure they are 18
Why
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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