I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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