my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
