From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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