had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
