Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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