Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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