I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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