she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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