i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
