Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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