ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
