She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
