I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize