who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
