I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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