He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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