Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You're like the curious george of whores
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
