how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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