The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
