i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
