How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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