...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
