If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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