is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Randomize