I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
